ETHICS – PART 1
A LEAP OF ACTION
We are now about halfway through the year of my “Reflections on Twenty-Five Years in the Rabbinate.” And after dealing with revelation and the meaning of Torah (God’s teachings for the Jewish people and for humanity), I am ready for the central question in my explorations. What precisely does God want us to do? How do we apply the reality of God’s teaching to life in this world? We are now at the heart of this series.
Let us start with an essential teaching – our first concern is action. What we do, not what we believe, has to be the touchstone of our faith. When the Israelites received the Torah, they said the words “We will do and we will understanding.” (Exodus 24:7) The doing comes before the understanding. Covenant demands a leap of action.
There are countless other teachings in Jewish tradition which say similar things. For example, our tradition teaches that the righteous of all nations have a place in the world to come. Notice, it does not say “the faithful of all nations” or “believers of all nations,” but “the righteous.” All humans, whatever their faith and creed, are ultimately judged by their behavior.
In Jewish tradition, there is a teaching that pictures God saying, “If only my children would forget me and remember my Torah, for by remembering my Torah, they will eventually remember me.” The essence of the teaching is to forget about God, religion, the proper beliefs, and concentrate on the proper way to live. For by living properly, one will eventually return to the faith. Another teaching says, “Do the right thing even for the wrong reason, for eventually you will come around to doing it for the right reason.” The key is right behavior. Action leads to faith, not vice versa. Or, as friends once quoted to me, “you can act your way into feeling, you can never feel your way into actions.”
The great Christian philosopher Soren Kierkegaard wrote in his book Fear and Trembling about “a leap of faith.” Such a leap of beliefs became central to the Christian view of reality. Abraham Joshua Heschel, the Jewish philosopher and activist, reacted by saying that the key is not “a leap of faith,” but rather “a leap of action.” Ultimately, we are judged not by what we believe nor by the creed we profess, but rather by what we do in this world. The Torah begins with the command to do, to act in a certain way. Proper behavior is the hallmark of the religious life.
Today, Christianity is still debating the classical conundrum of whether faith or works is more important. Many Christians, following the teachings of Paul (the founder of Christianity), emphasize the importance of faith over works. According to these Christians, through proper beliefs does one make it into heaven. However, there is a new direction among many Christian thinkers who emphasize the centrality of works. Not what we believe but we do becomes the cornerstone of salvation. This rediscovery of the relative importance of works over faith shows a return to the Jewish roots of Christianity. We must be judged by what we do.
So, let us return to the central question. What should we do? Long ago the Prophet Micah asked the same question. “He has told you, O man, what is good and what God requires of you, to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with God.” (Micah 6:8) Proper behavior begins with justice, kindness, and humility. The sage Hillel said something similar, “What is hateful to you, do not do to others. All the rest is commentary. Go and learn.” (Shabbat 31a) Perhaps the pagan Hippocrates also put this view best with his simple statement, “First, do no harm.”
As humans, we act in the world. And our actions affect other people around us, whether positively or negatively. The beginning of Torah must be ethics, acting in a way that enhances others and does not harm others. In my book God, Love, Sex, and Family, I recommended that we humans ought to come up with an action impact analysis for everything we do, similar to the environmental impact analysis required by many laws. How will our actions affect others? Will they enhance or harm our fellow humans? Ultimately, at the center of our religious view must be that salvation comes through action.
ETHICS – PART 2
DO NO HARM
Last week we spoke about a leap of action. Action begins with ethics, particularly avoiding any action which harms another human being. To quote the pagan sage Hippocrates, “First, do no harm.”
We each have the ability to act in a way which harms others. And the more vulnerable another person is, the more easily it is to cause them harm. Children, the elderly, those with disabilities, the poor, and the weak, can easily become victims of our cruelty or our insensitivity. We have the power to harm others, whether with our fists, our weapons, our automobiles, our animals, or anything else we own. However, the most powerful and destructive weapon we have, the one that usually does the most harm, we carry with us at all times – our tongue.
The Bible teaches that “death and life are in the power of the tongue.” (Proverbs 18:21) One of the great insights of the Bible is the power of speech. God created the entire world by speaking. And with speech, we humans have been given the God-like ability to create or to destroy. One word, said at the wrong time or in the wrong way, can affect another human being for his or her entire life. A child shamed by parents, told he or she is worthless, will grow up with an overwhelming disability. A word of gossip can forever tarnish a reputation. That is why ethics begins with the warning to do no harm, particularly with our tongues.
What are the ways we harm one another through speech? The ways are countless. Sometimes we are in position to rebuke somebody, particularly our children, our spouse, or perhaps our subordinates at work. There are numerous rules on how to rebuke. Jewish tradition teaches that we are only permitted to rebuke someone if we feel there is a reasonable chance they will listen. We must never rebuke when we are angry. The rebuke must be done in private, and with great kindness. There can be no sense of triumph. If we must say something negative to someone, we must focus on their actions. “You did something wrong;” we must never become “you are something wrong.”
Gossip is always improper, even if it is true. To say something negative about another person can sometimes carry consequences we cannot imagine. There is a well-known Hasidic tale of the man who spreads negative gossip about his rabbi. (I have endured such gossip over the years.) The man feels regret and goes to the rabbi to apologize. The rabbis says, “I accept your apology. But there is one thing you must do. Bring me a feather pillow.” The man is puzzled but follows the rabbi’s directions. “Now I want you to cut open the pillow and scatter the feathers to the wind.” The man is even more puzzled, but he does it. “Now I want you to gather all the feathers.” “That is impossible!” says the man. “So it is with gossip,” the rabbi replies.
Few of us can get through an entire day without gossip. Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, author of the book Words that Hurt, Words that Heal, has called for a day to hold our tongues and avoid any gossip. I wonder how many of us could meet the challenge and go through an entire day saying nothing negative about anybody? How many of us can search for the good, and find only positive things to say about others? And how many of can avoid speaking about people altogether, but keep our conversation on ideas and things?
The Torah teaches that we are to avoid putting a stumbling block before the blind. This has been given a broad interpretation in our tradition. We are to avoid any activity or any words that might lead someone astray. For example, a stockbroker cannot recommend a stock to make a personal profit if buying such a stock is not in the best interest of the investor. A seller cannot deliberately mislead a buyer by not fully disclosing information about a product. And a buyer cannot deliberately mislead a storekeeper by wasting the time when there is no desire to buy.
These are a few examples of how words can harm. We humans have been given the power of words. Through gossip, lies, misleading statements, racial slurs, negative rebukes, anger, we can destroy another. In fact, words that destroy can come naturally to us. After all, we live in a world where survival of the fittest is a goal, and we must “look out for number one.” Putting down the other is one of the easiest ways to build ourselves up. To harm with words is often second nature.
The wisdom of the Bible is that it teaches us to move beyond our nature. We must control our speech. Only then can we move beyond doing no harm to our true ethical task, doing acts of loving kindness.
ETHICS – PART 3
ACTS OF LOVING KINDNESS
Last week I spoke about the principle, “First, do not harm.” Ethics begins with avoiding any act that hurts another. If that was all, we could live an ethical life by avoiding people altogether. Ethics must be far more than avoiding harm. To be ethical is to practice ongoing, daily acts of loving kindness.
Perhaps the best place to begin any discussion of acts of loving kindness is with one of my favorite quotes from the Talmud (Sota 14a) "Rav Hama son of Rav Hanina said, what is the meaning of the verse, `Follow none but the Lord your God?' (Deuteronomy 13:15) Is it possible for a human being actually to follow the ways of God? Has it not already been said, `The Lord your God is a devouring fire.’ (Deuteronomy 4:24) What it means is that we should imitate the attributes of God?
“As God clothed the naked (regarding Adam and Eve), so you should clothe the naked. As God visited the sick (after Abraham's circumcision), so you should visit the sick. As God comforted mourners (Isaac after the death of Abraham), so you should comfort mourners. As God buried the dead (Moses in the valley), so also you should bury the dead." We imitate God through constant acts of loving kindness to help others.
David Wagner, a hairdresser in Minnesota, recently published a beautiful book entitled Life as a Daymaker: How to Change the World by Simply Making Someone's Day. In the book, he tells the story of a woman who came in to have her hair done. He spent a good deal of time speaking to woman, joking with her, messaging her scalp, and making her look beautiful. Afterwards, the woman wrote him a letter. She was having her hair done in order to look at her best, because she planned to commit suicide later that day. His kindness to her and the joy of that time in the beauty salon convinced her to check into a mental health clinic. He literally saved her life. Wagner was so moved by that moment that he committed himself to become a daymaker, sending into the world small acts of loving kindness. His book is filled with ideas and examples.
How do we send out into the world such acts of loving kindness? It begins by noticing the other people who are around us – family members, co-workers, colleagues, and even total strangers. People need to be recognized; they need to feel like they are noticed. We must constantly ask ourselves, what do people need, and what can we do for them? Perhaps as we walk through the mall and see strangers, a smile, a nod, maybe a kind word is sufficient. Sometimes we need to take a moment to listen to someone. At other times people need far more; a helping hand, a visit, a meal, or some other act of kindness.
I will never forget when I was young, my tire blew on a small rural road in Virginia. There were no cell phones at that time and my tire changing ability was not great. I knocked on the door of a local home, asked to use the phone to call someone to repair the tire. The woman not only invited me in to use her phone, she gave me a glass of lemonade and a few words of kindness. I do not know her name or even remember exactly where she lived. But when I think of her acts of kindness, I always try to “pay it forward,” to quote a recent movie.
Why is it so difficult to practice these acts of loving kindness? Allow me to suggest a thought. Human beings are naturally selfish. We tend to focus on ourselves, our needs, what people ought to do for us. Too often we see other people as in the world to fulfill our needs. We meet someone at a party and we see a future customer. We look at a stranger and see someone who may bother us or step in line in front of us. We may even see our own children as naches-givers, placed in the world to give us joy. We see others but we think of ourselves.
Acts of loving kindness begin through diminishing ourselves, what the kabbalists call tzimtzum. When we stop looking at ourselves, we can first begin to see the other. Acts of loving kindness begin when we see the other not as part of some ethnic or racial group, not as Jew or Christian, black or white, straight or gay, young or old, able bodied or disabled, but as an individual unique human being. Acts of loving kindness begin when we actually listen and learn to pronounce properly someone’s name. (This is something I admit that I am terrible at. I must learn to do better.) Acts of loving kindness begin when we ask ourselves the question, what does this human being need right now. Acts of loving kindness begin when we see our task as doing for the other, without worrying about ourselves.
Other human beings were not put in the world to fulfill our needs. Rather, we were put in the world to fulfill their needs. I find it useful to remember the words of the Indian poet Rabindranath Tagore, “I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.” Service to others is at the heart of the ethical life. In service to others, people quickly learn to find joy and meaning in their own lives.
ETHICS – PART 4
MEDICAL ETHICS
For the last three weeks we have spoken about ethics. Ethics is far more than the simple moral choice of “doing the right thing.” Often the right thing is far from clear. Many professions and organizations have their own set of ethical rules by which all members must abide. As a rabbi, I must follow strict ethical guidelines in a number of areas. For example, I am not allowed to speak or perform a life cycle event at another rabbi’s synagogue without his or her permission. And I am not allowed to share information told to me in a confidential, counseling session. (Here too there are exceptions; for example, if someone confessed to me that they were abusing a child.)
Other professions have their own code of ethics. I am a member of the National Speakers Association, people who speak for a living. It is unethical to use another person’s material without first seeking permission. Like rabbis and speakers, most professions have their code of ethics. Lawyers, accountants, social workers, teachers, realtors, all must abide by strict codes of ethics. However, few professions confront as many ethical issues as those in the medical profession. Even as a rabbi, I am constantly confronted with questions of whether to pursue aggressive treatment or withhold such treatment, whether or not to pull the plug.
The tragic Terri Schiavo case has put medical ethics at the center of the national spotlight. Should a feeding tube be removed from this woman who has been in a permanent vegetative state for years? Or should she be kept alive artificially? As in many such cases, the answers are far from simple.
Allow me to share a few principles I use when thinking about such cases. First is the obligation to heal. There is a wonderful midrash (rabbinic tale) I shared in my first book And Hannah Wept. Rabbi Ishmael and Rabbi Akiba were walking together when they ran into a sick man. They gave him advice on healing. Someone then challenged the rabbis – “Who created this illness?” They answered that it came from the Holy One. He challenged them, “The Holy One created the illness and you involve yourself with such matters?” The rabbis replied, “What do you do?” “I am a farmer.” “The Holy One creates the field and you involve yourself with such matters. Just as it is your job to work within nature to grow food, so it is our job to work within nature to heal the sick.” (Midrash Samuel 4:1)
We humans have an obligation to heal. It is part of the overall Biblical vision that we humans are to perfect this world as a kingdom of God. Healing is a form of perfection. This involves physical healing through medication, surgery, and whatever other means physicians teach are most effective. However, more and more we are discovering that there is a spiritual side to healing. We humans are not mere machines. Healing a human body is different than taking one’s car in to a mechanic for a tune-up. That is why the role of spiritual healers, including rabbis who act as chaplains, is so vital. Doctors are learning that their role is not simply to cure disease, but to heal human beings.
However, there is another serious question involved with medical ethics. How aggressive should we be in healing? At what point do we try something new and at what point do we stop trying, allowing nature to take its course? At what point to we hook someone to a respirator or feeding tube, and at what point do we unhook them? Do we give antibiotics to a patient who has lost mental capacity and is dealing with their tenth case of pneumonia in a short time? (A question I have been asked recently.) When do we heal and when do we stop healing?
Answers are not simple. But again, I have found one particular story from the vast Rabbinic literature to be helpful. When Rabbi was dying, all his students surrounded him with prayers to keep the Angel of Death away. His handmaid climbed on the roof and said, “The angels want Rabbi to join them and the mortals want Rabbi to remain with them; may it be God’s will that the mortals overpower the angels.” However, then she saw how much he was suffering. She changed her prayer, “May it be Your will that the angels overpower the mortals.” She took a pitcher and threw it to the ground, causing the rabbis to stop praying. The moment they ceased their prayers, the Angel of Death was able to take Rabbi to his eternal rest. She is praised for her act of kindness. (Ketubot 104a)
The lesson is clear. There comes a time when we must allow nature to take its course. When death is inevitable and a cure is extremely unlikely, we are permitted to remove artificial barriers to nature taking its course. That may involve removing a feeding tube or respirator in a patient whom, according to the best medical advice, there is no hope to recovery and they are simply being kept artificially alive. (It must be clear that at no time is it permissible to deliberately kill a patient.)
Medicine raises some of the toughest questions in contemporary ethics. That is why these cases must be handled by doctors in consultation with ethicists and clergy, deliberating with wisdom and compassion about the particulars of the case.
ETHICS – PART 5
BUSINESS ETHICS
There is one more issue we must treat in the realm of ethics – the everyday economic transactions that take place between human beings. Few areas have a greater potential for unethical or improper behavior. In fact, the issue is so important that, according to a famous Talmudic passage, the first question each of us must answer when we arrive in the next world is, “Were you honest in your business dealings?” (Shabbat 31a)
We have already stated that to be a human being is to rise above the animal within us. Animals are not economic beings. According to the Biblical image, animals lived in the Garden of Eden where all their needs were taken care of. When we humans left the Garden, God told us, “By the sweat of your brow will you bring forth bread.” (Genesis 3:19) A tiny minority of us are farmers, literally growing our bread by the sweat of our brow. Almost all of us must by or sell in the marketplace to have bread to eat. We may own a business, selling products or services for our economic survival. Or we may work for a company, an institution, or even the government, selling our labor for the money we need to survive. Some of us receive our economic support from others – our spouse, our parents, the government, or charity funds – but we still must go into the marketplace to buy. As humans, we are economic beings.
I recall a recent conversation with a businessman in my community. He quit the business he founded when his partner questioned his integrity. His words were powerful – “You can question my judgment anytime. But do not question my integrity.” There is nothing more valuable to each of us than our integrity, our reputation in the community, or to use the classic Hebrew term, our shem tov - good name. As the Bible teaches, “A good name is better than precious ointment.” (Ecclesiastes 7:1)
How do we maintain our good name when functioning in the economic sphere? The answer is obvious – every economic transaction that we are involved in must be carried out with scrupulous honesty. Anytime we buy or sell anything, we must be totally open and fair about all aspects of the transaction. We must carry out our economic affairs with full disclosure. “You shall not falsify measures of length, weight, or capacity. You shall have an honest balance, honest weights, and honest ephah, and an honest hin.” (Leviticus 19:35-36) (If this seems obvious, perhaps it is worth asking. How many of us, when we sell a used car, hide problems from a potential buyer?)
I often ask the teens who study with me a thought question. Suppose you were hired for your first job working in a supermarket, in the produce department. And suppose your manager asked you to wrap up packages of tomatoes, putting the soft and somewhat rotted tomatoes on the bottom and covering them with firm, healthy tomatoes. Would you do it? What if your job depended on it? Most of the teens said they would refuse. But the question becomes much more difficult if we are economically dependent on a job and our boss asks us to be deceptive.
I once counseled a man with a well-paying job as an accountant for a large business. He was told to keep two sets of books, one accurate for the boss and one inaccurate to show government authorities. If he refused, he would lose his job. I told him that he understand his dilemma. But he needs to get up each morning and look at himself in the mirror. Is he happy with the person he sees? Can he be a role model for his children? He did quit the job, and eventually found something much better.
Business ethics also applies for employees. Are we doing what our boss is paying us to do? Or are we using company time to conduct personal business or play solitaire at the computer? Are we stealing supplies from the company? And of course, employers also must be absolutely honest. Are employees being paid in a timely manner? Are they being paid a wage consistent with the work they are doing? Are they given a reasonable lunch hour and the other normal perks of the job? And when we must reprimand an employee, do we do it in a kind and fair manner?
We humans are economic creatures. The way we conduct our economic lives is a central ethical question. If we lose money, we can always earn it back. But if we lose our good name, it is usually lost forever.